Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Life Questions Need Answers

You probably want to know what I've been up to (I flatter myself, I know).

The answer is pretty boring. I'm not solving the world's problems, discovering a cure for cancer, saving the starving children. These are my life puzzles at the moment:

How do I get the dog stink out of my house?

What do I do to get my 17 year old to WANT to learn to drive?

How do I get my dogs to stop scratching, licking and farting at night so I can sleep?

What am I going to do if we have a hurricane?

How do I get P-Diddle to brush his teeth and wear deodorant?

How do I get myself invited to my neighbor's house to hold her new baby?

How do I get C-Bear to stop taking my cordless phones upstairs and hiding them under her pillow?

How do I tell Husband that I haven't lost 1 oz. of weight since he left (like he cares...)?

What should I make for dinner?

If you have the answers to these questions, let me know.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have some solutions:
Dogs: Dogs smells cannot be gotten rid of. Oh if you sleep with them you are doomed to have licking, farting, and scratching!
17 year old driving: Like father like son!!!!
Hurricane: buy a boat.
Neighbors baby: This requires breaking and entering! (what did she have?) Tell her congrats.
Tie a long cord to the phone and give it a yank when you need it.
Thom loves you anyway not matter whether you lost weight or not.
NOW DINNER is a problem I have never been able to solve.

Jam said...

Dogs: Cats will out stink a dog anyday...I will lend you my cat!! ;)
Neighbors baby....easy one buy a congrats baby gift...something like Mommy is the greatest t-shirt and bring over saying ooh ahh your so lucky and you look wonderful what a beautiful baby!!!! You'll be holding baby in a heartbeat!!!!
Thom does love you no matter what you look like!!! (Lucky Lucky Lucky)
Dinner is easy.....If you aren't inspired to cook it (Call it in)
Two thumbs up on your Blog!!!!!!! :)

Tara Crooks said...

Edie Mills,
Your neighbor does not require an invitation for you to hold her baby. She says to tell you that you can come anytime you wish. She specifically asked me to tell you that 1am would work. LOL!

Anonymous said...

How do I get the dog stink out of my house?
Well, we agreed you could eat them. But that might land you back in the hospital with the squirts again. However, I hear your neighbors' daughter has an endless supply of FEBREZE you could hijack. Last but not least, you could just buy a new house.

What do I do to get my 17 year old to WANT to learn to drive? Don't take him to work, make him ride a bike in this God foresaken 110 degree heat...or maybe...you could buy him a new car. ha ha ha!

How do I get my dogs to stop scratching, licking and farting at night so I can sleep? Cut off their legs, chop off their tongues, and stuff their butts with plugs. Ewww!

What am I going to do if we have a hurricane? Run like hell. (and pay alot of money to that cussing jar)

How do I get Patrick to brush his teeth and wear deoderant? Teach him to like girls.

How do I get myself invited to my neighbor's house to hold her new baby? See above, or just show up at the door smiling.

How do I get Carol to stop taking my cordless phones upstairs and hiding them under her pillow? Just use corded phones or take out the batteries and hold them hostage downstairs.

How do I tell Thom that I haven't lost 1 oz. of weight since he left (like he cares...)? Wear a fat suit when you pick him up from the airport then when you get home take it off and he'll think you're skinny. OR just wear it in pictures you take before he comes home LOL!

What should I make for dinner? Dominos. Duh.